Cauliflower Pizza

I am constantly trying to find healthy substitutes for my favorite things. Like most moms, I am struggling with post baby belly and try really hard to watch my calories and fat etc. I had been seeing the cauliflower pizza recipe floating around for some time and decided to give it a try, since I figured it would fail I didn’t bother to take any photos. Whoops.

I read through lots of recipes and as usual was missing ingredients for almost all of them. I followed the general rule of eggs, cauliflower, and spices. The rest I kind of made up as I went along.

First, I pulsed my cauliflower in the blender (you REALLY should use a food processor for this, but I am a loser and don’t own one). One little tree of cauliflower at a time I dropped it into the blender and pulsed it until it was about rice sized. Once I had the whole head pulsed up, I microwaved it for about 10 minutes. When it came out it was all cooked up and extremely hot. I saw most people were wrapping theirs up in a towel and squishing the water out. I definitely recommend this, otherwise there is way too much liquid as you go along.

I used a thing kitchen towel (a cheese cloth would work well too) and scooped all the cauliflower into the middle, pulled up the four corners and started twisting. I would also recommend letting your cauliflower cool off for several minutes before doing this. I didn’t and will probably have scars on my fingertips for years.  squeeze the cauliflower tight until most of the water is gone and its a nice little ball.

Dump the cauliflower ball into a bowl with spices, 4 eggs, and some mozzarella cheese. Mix it all up. Mine was a goopy, gross mess. I scooped half of it onto a sprayed (DO NOT FORGET TO SPRAY) foil covered cookie sheet and formed it into a pizza type shape. Then I baked it for about 25 minutes. Once the pizza was browning on top and looked cooked through I pulled it out and topped it with sauce and cheese and threw it back in the oven for another ten minutes or so.

My first pizza turned out fabulous. The crust was crusty and yummy and only slightly egg-y. The cheese was nice and melty. i ate the entire pizza in one day. I was thrilled. I made it while Wonderful Husband was away because I figured it would fail and he wouldn’t want to eat it. But I was so excited to make more and serve it to him!

When he had time back at the shop, I decided to make a cauliflower pizza on Tupperware Thursday so he could eat leftovers if he didn’t like it. I was rushing because I had been busy all day and wanted to get it finished before he got home so he wouldn’t know my “secret ingredient”. Instead, he got home halfway through, knew exactly what I was doing and agreed to try it.

He went upstairs to shower, and I got busy trying to form my pizza crust. I tried to make it slightly thinner than the first one I made and instead of only using half the “batter” I used all of it to make a bigger pizza. This resulted in it starting to burn in the oven. By the time I pulled it out it was starting to turn black. I topped it and put it back in. While I had been making it thinner, I had forgot to build up the “crust” part so the cheese and sauce started sliding off the edges all over the foil and cookie sheet. I had also forgotten to spray the foil.

By the time the pizza was done, the whole thing was burnt to the foil and I couldn’t get it off, The cheese and sauce had pretty much covered the entire crust so there was no place to hold onto. And the middle of the crust was still gooey. We had a giant, cheese covered, burnt to a crisp, raw, cauliflower pizza.

Bless his heart, he still ate it.

Next time I will be more careful, cauliflower is nowhere near as forgiving as dough is. While it does taste good when it turns out well, it can be disastrous if it is mishandled.

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