Being A Parent…

Being a parent is leaving the party early because your daughter has a bed time.

Being a parent is walking down the long, dark hallway in the middle of the night, even though you are terrified of the dark, because you hear a tiny voice crying.

Being a parent is talking to yourself constantly in a cute voice and adding “ie” to almost every wordie you can thinkie of.

Being a parent is poop. 24/7 poop. If the baby isn’t pooping then you are discussing the last time she did poop and what it looked like and how big it was. Speculating why she hasn’t pooped since, and ways to get her to poop (maybe she needs more prune juice, although she had spinach and oatmeal yesterday for breakfast…). If she is pooping, your talking to yourself about how big the poopie is and if its big enough and if perhaps she may be getting constipated (maybe I should give her some prune juice so she doesn’t get backed up). Discussing poop over the dinner table is a really normal occurrence, and conversations like “She had a tiny little poopie, but I can tell there’s more up there its just too hurtie to get it out” won’t even make you bat an eye.

Being a parent is calling the dog the baby’s name and calling the baby the dogs name because they both spend a lot of time of the floor getting into similar situations and you just get confused.

Being a parent is laying on the floor cheering on the 6 month old who is trying her very best to crawl and is only scooting backwards.

Being a parent is sippy cups. New sippy cups, favorite sippy cups, dirty sippy cups, did we bring enough sippy cups? How long has this sippy cup been sitting here?

Being a parent is stuffing toys around the baby so she will sit up while you go wash dishes.

Being a parent is dropping the dirty plate and running to the living room when you hear the dull thud of a baby’s head on the floor.

Being a parent is kissing baby’s head and snuggling her while promising to be a better mommy and apologizing for leaving her to fall backwards and hit her head on the (carpeted) floor.

Being a parent is planning for Mimi to watch the baby while you go to a wedding 6 months in advance, then sitting in the car and crying when you drop her off.

Being a parent is constantly comparing yourself to every other parent out there and wondering who is doing it right/better.

Being a parent is constant advice from other parents.

Being a parent is convincing yourself its okay to leave baby on the floor watching Mickey while you go take a shower, then rushing through the shower because you’re convinced she is probably spending that 10 minutes chewing on electrical cords and strangling herself.

Being a parent is never knowing if you are doing it right, or if you are messing it up, or what consequences your actions will have in the future.

Being a parent is wondering how your parents got it right, did they have some type of secret manual? I mean, I just stole the batteries out of the alarm clock to make the Sit-N-Stand toy work and let my kid chew on a wash cloth for an hour because it kept her from crying. Surely they did it better, or different, they always seemed to have their shit together, I am still trying to balance hangovers and 6am wake ups.

What does being a parent mean to you?


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