5 Things That Make You A Lazy Mom

I deleted my Facebook. Or rather, I deleted the app off my phone and do not allow myself to check Facebook anymore because I get too emotionally vested in what is happening. However, my account is still active, and I get an email when I have more than 10 notifications pending on Facebook. Apparently, everyone I know is still tagging me in everything because I got an email that the other day that I had 37 notifications waiting for me. Yikes.

I bit the bullet and logged on to the website. I surfed through the notifications, mostly pictures and articles and the like. And then I got caught on the News Feed. Talk about depressing and anger inducing. I don’t know why it is so popular! I scrolled through and my eyes caught on an article entitled “What it takes to be one of those moms who has it all together”. It made me pause. I finally clicked on it.

What I read, was a sad, droning article about how some of these moms “pretend” to have it all together but they are just hiding things. Their house may look clean, but their closets are stashed with crap they haven’t organized, or they may bring a gorgeous snack to daycare but they really only got three hours of sleep the previous night.

I call bull shit.

I am so sick of women all over the world acting like their life is soooooo hard. Women who act like they can’t wash a sink full of dishes or they can’t wash more than one load of laundry every week. Here’s a tip- get the eff off Facebook and do something with your day instead of sitting around reading articles on how it’s ok to not have your shit together. Because, here’s the kicker, it’s not ok!

Here is a fun list of 5 things that make you a lazy mom, if you check off more than one or two, take a look in the mirror and rethink your life. #sorrynotsorry

5 things that make you a lazy mom

  1. You don’t shower on a daily or regular basisI am sick of this nonsensical myth where women act like they are “too busy” to shower every day. What the hell? Your child sleeps don’t they? It literally takes 10 minutes to shower, and that is including time to shave my legs. You need to shower like you mean it, don’t waste time standing under the water contemplating life and don’t act like your hair is that important that you need to let that conditioner set for 20 minutes, if you aren’t showering regularly you obviously don’t care that much about your hair either. Get up before your kids, stay up later than your kids, utilize nap time for something other than Facebook and TV.
  2. You don’t remember the last time you did your hair/make up or got dressed properlyOk listen, I know that the days of full make up and hair straighteners is mostly over. It is a lot to maintain, even I got a mom hair cut so that I wouldn’t have to mess with a straightener on a regular basis. But seriously ladies, how hard is it to put on some BB cream and mascara? Let me answer that, NOT THAT HARD. It’s call the five minute face for a reason. Learn it. Use it. Love it. And while you’re at it, put on something other than yoga pants. Try a pair of jeans, or even jeggings. Something that you wouldn’t be ashamed to be wearing if you saw someone you knew your worst enemy. Just think, you are coming out of the grocery store in your dirty yogas and over sized hoodie when you are face to face with that one person you just hate. Do you really want her to be able to go home and tell all her friends “and do you know what she was wearing…?!” Nope. Make that bitch work for her gossip.
  3. Your house is a mess on the regularI get it, certain rooms in the house are likely to be more messy than others while the child is awake. The living room is probably going to be strewn with toys and the kitchen is bound to have dishes pile up during the day while you are spending time with your kid. But seriously. Clean up the toys, run the vacuum, utilize a duster for God’s sake. Run the dishwasher and then *gasp* unload it and put the dishes away! No one is going to believe you if they end up in your basement and you are muttering excuses about how you are a little behind on laundry when the pile of dirty clothes is touching your rafters. Doing laundry is seriously one of the easiest chores that exists. You put the laundry in the washer, you turn the washer on. You swap the laundry into the dryer. Even folding it takes about 10 minutes. Set a timer, I bet it doesn’t take more than 10 minutes to fold and put away a load of laundry. I know there are times when we all get behind and there is a day where you feel like you are drowning in laundry, but that’s your job. You agreed to do laundry when you signed on to be a stay at home mom.
  4. You put things offWhy bother running the sweeper today? You can always do it tomorrow. Why do the lunch dishes when you know dinner dishes are coming in just a few hours? Ugh. It annoys the shit out of me when people put things off for no reason. Is the garbage can full? Take out the trash! Do bills need paid? Write out the checks and put them in the mail! Most of the things that I see people putting off take about 30 seconds to complete. I mean large projects like cleaning out the attic are time consuming, but they still need done. Stop piling things on the dining room table, in the closet, or on the basement floor. Pick them up, sort through them and then deal with them accordingly. What happens if you have a guest over and they open your coat closet? It will look like something out a damn movie with all kinds of trinkets and crap falling all over them. That would be embarrassing for them, and you, and all around bad. Stop putting things off and do it now. You will thank yourself later when you are more caught up. Try making a list of 5 things. You can’t turn on the TV until those 5 things are done. It’ll go faster than you think.
  5. You are constantly making excuses.I was going to but.. If you find yourself using this statement more than twice a day, you are probably lazy. People who are constantly whining about how tired, busy, overworked, or overwhelmed they are are just lazy. Here’s a fun fact: Everybody who is an adult is tired. We are all busy. We all have lives and commitments and thing to get done. Its like that meme that you constantly see on Pinterest- Somebody who is busier than you is working out and eating right right now. That’s exactly how housework works. Yes, we have kids who are like little whirling dervishes of activity that make messes, but we are also home all day to combat those messes. Stop acting like you are the only person who has ever had a kid or two or three and like your job is so ridiculously hard that its impossible to have a clean house, a clean body, and a clean child. That’s stupid. Nobody *really* feels sorry for you, they are just nodding their head and thinking to themselves WTF. There are millions of moms out there who are “doing it all” on a daily basis and keeping up just fine. It’s called balance, routine, and motivation. Make yourself a daily chore list of what chores get done on what day. Make yourself a to do list on the daily of things that need to be accomplished. Stop procrastinating.  If you had a job outside the home and you worked like you take care of your home, you would be fired!

Can you imagine going into a job outside the home and complaining to your boss how tired you are and how you can’t keep up with your daily activities because it’s too hard? Yea. That’s exactly how your husband feels when he comes home to a dirty house, a dirty wife, and wild child. He works hard all day so he can come home and put his feet up and relax without having to scrape goo off the couch and without wondering if he is going to have clean underwear for work tomorrow.

This is your job.

Take is seriously.

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