Green Smoothie Cleanse

I took the holidays very seriously this year. I am talking Ham Pot Pie for every meal for three days, including snacks. I had ham on Christmas day, and Chili on Christmas eve. I ate four chicken burritos at my Aunts house on Saturday. There were cookies, candies, nut rolls. It was out of control. And even worse, a lot of it came home with me and I continued to eat it for the next week.

I would still be eating if I hadn’t decided to start the new year with a cleanse.

I have been wanting to do a cleanse for a while now, but they seem incredibly daunting and scary. They get a lot of negative publicity and they are always portrayed badly on tv (like the episode of Castle where Ryan beats Espo up over a doughnut because he is supposed to be cleansing and looses his mind). They seem kind of hard, and really who wants to go any amount of time drinking wheatgrass juice or blended carrots? Let me answer that: no one. No one wants to do that.

But here I sit with my raspberry spinach juice. Yum.

No really.


Here is the story of how I fell in love with my cleanse (please note that I am on day 4 of 7 so I can’t truly weigh in until the end, but this is how I feel so far).

Starting on January 1- I cut myself off from refined sugar, dairy, processed foods, meat, and just about anything that isn’t a fruit or vegetable. And even my fruits are limited. If it can’t go in the blender, I am not eating it.

Here’s what I had:

  • Spinach
  • frozen cranberries
  • frozen grapes
  • oranges
  • granny smith apples
  • bananas
  • chia seeds
  • flax seeds
  • cocoa powder
  • kale
  • carrots
  • frozen raspberries
  • oatmeal
  • protein powder

I had other things like peanut butter and yogurt but I tried not to use them because they are loaded with sugar. My protein powder was from Arbonne.

To make a smoothie I would do a piece or a cup of fruit, two handfuls of veggies, 2 tablespoons of seeds or 1/2 cup of oatmeal. Sometimes I would add a scoop of protein powder if I was feeling hungry, but honestly the protein powder tasted like shit and got used less and less as time went on. Fill the remainder of the container up with water and blend until smooth.

I was nervous it would be really hard, I would be hungry all the time, I would be dying of cravings, etc. My smoothies in the past had always been loaded with flavored yogurt and tons of fruit, I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to stomach a smoothie primarily made of veggies. I know I hate vegetable juice like V8, and my old blender never really got everything smooth.

This Ninja is amazing! I have been doing crangrape/spinach smoothies, chocolate orange oatmeal smoothies, peanut butter banana smoothies. Everything gets blended to almost total smoothness.

Every smoothie has two large handfuls of greens in it, but I can barely tell! I was at my moms on day 3 and used kale, celery, and tomatoes with oranges and cranberries and it was palatable.

Honestly I don’t even feel hungry. On day 2 I was having a hard time getting enough calories because I was so full of smoothie I couldn’t drink anymore but was only up to 600 calories by 5pm.

I didn’t get the shits. I didn’t get sick. I did get a little bit testy around other food. While at my moms her fiance started talking about making pancakes and I almost snapped. This evening I had some really bad cravings for pasta and cheese.

The only times I have cheated were two evenings when I had a big salad at dinner time. Iceberg lettuce chopped up and topped with a tablespoon of italian dressing (even italian dressing has 1 gram of sugar in it) and a sprinkle of sea salt. That was mostly because I was craving the habit of chewing. It sounds silly, but I was really having trouble with not chewing, like my jaw needed that action in order to feel full and not have the munchies. I also stole four cubes of cheese from Little Darlings plate when she was done with lunch one day.

Still better than a dozen gingerbread men and a mixing bowl full of ham pot pie.

I really do miss eating, but I am starting to want to eat healthier and not miss the yummy comfort food that makes me feel like a big fat slug. Hopefully when I am done with this cleanse I can continue my healthy eating habits (in a more solid form) and continue on my weight loss goals of 2016.

Hopefully the next three days goes as well as the first four have and I can finish strong!




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