Stepford and the Sons

The weekend of New Years, my dad took Little Darling for a couple days. It worked out that Wonderful Husband was away, Little Darling was away, and mommy had the house to herself for two days.

It was insane.

I had no idea what to do with myself. I had a whole to do list to work on. But it was strange to have uninterrupted time to work on things. Wonderful Husband had a bit of a moment when he asked me to come spend the weekend with him and I said no (I know, I know, you don’t need to tell me I was wrong. I know I was. I get it. Move on.) I had a ton of things to get done including taking a long hot bath, painting my nails and allowing them to full dry before moving, and sleeping in until at least 9am.

No, seriously, I had a ton of stuff to do. While I did do some relaxing things I also cleaned every room from top to bottom, scrubbed the tubs and toilets, took down and stored all the Christmas decor, went grocery shopping, organized Little Darlings toys and clothes, made a huge donation bag for Goodwill, visited my grandma, and ran the Ethernet cord for the xbox.

Looking back, I probably should have waited to run that Ethernet cable, because it was the beginning of my downfall.

Wonderful Husband bought this 200 ft long Ethernet cable so we could hook the xbox in our bedroom into the router in the living room. He explained to me that all I had to do was drop the cable down the vent in the bedroom, and go to the living room vent, find the cable, pull it out, plug it into the router.

Easy peasy, right?

Wrong.

I dropped the cable down the vent and ran down to check the living room vent.

No cable.

I did it again.

No cable.

On attempt number 462 I finally texted Wonderful Husband that I must be doing something wrong. I was armpit deep in this vent and obviously that cable was dropping into some strange hell portal because it was not coming into the living room.

He told me to tie a weight to it and try it again.

I ran back upstairs, tied a pen to the cable, and dropped it back down the vent.

I finally decided that I didn’t care if we NEVER got the cable hooked into the router downstairs and instead decided I would turn on the xbox, use the wifi, and find a new show to watch since all of mine are on holiday break.

Lo and behold I found the Sons of Anarchy.

Now I have been told by many people for some time now that I would love SOA and I should watch it. I always declined because I really don’t like to watch shows that glorify breaking the law. A motorcycle gang that lives on sex, drugs and rock and roll seemed to be one of those shows that would be about breaking the law and loving it. However, all 7 seasons were on Hulu and were in my “shows you may like” category.

Eff you Hulu.

I am on to you and your mind screw games.

I watched season one, 12 episodes, in about 12 hours. I barely slept.

I mentioned to my SIL that I had started SOA and was really into it. She responded with “oooh, its gonna kill you.”

I mentioned to a friend of mine that I was watching SOA and she said “oh my god its gonna rip your heart out. You are gonna die. JUST DIE”

I couldn’t stop myself.

I googled the series finale spoiler.

There it was in black and white text. The end all, be all, of this show that I was now hopelessly addicted to. I cried over people who hadn’t even died yet, I hated people who were still good characters in season two. I texted my friend who I had already recommended SOA to and warned her to not start it because she was going to drop dead before she finished.

And yet, here I sit at 9pm on a Saturday, watching SOA. I can’t stop. I am already vested. Every episode is murder and death and heartbreak. When one character was senselessly killed I had to actually turn off the tv and go sit in the dining room and cry.

Ridiculous, I know. But I get so close to my characters. How can I spend that much time with a character and not get to know them?

I haven’t finished the series yet, I still have two seasons to go, but I know it is going to be rough on me. I will take the life lessons it teaches though: don’t join a gang, don’t run drugs, guns, or anything else illegal, don’t kill people, and for the love of God, don’t lie about anything to anyone!

So consider this your warning.

Don’t start SOA. Don’t do it. Save yourself. It’s too late for me, but you can still make it out!

As for the Ethernet cable, when I told Wonderful Husband I was still failing to get it down to the living room vent, he asked me what I was using as a weight.

Turns out, when he said “weight” he meant something actually heavy, like a screwdriver or wrench or something, not something that just had some weight to it like a pen. I tied a screwdriver to the cable and on my first try I got it into the living room vent and successfully plugged into the router.

Seriously though, he should explain himself better.

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