BBQ Cauliflower

It has been a week here so far. Between the temperatures alternating from 45-80 within just a few days, rain, Wonderful Husband working almost constantly, and still attempting to sleep train Little Littles. It feels like it should be Friday, of next week, already.

However, we have been trying to stick to our routine and keep the house tidied, the laundry done, and such. Which includes dinner.

I will be the first to admit that I get really lazy when Wonderful Husband is away when it comes to dinner. I see no need to waste perfectly good ingredients on amazing meals when my kids have no appreciation for what I make. They’d much rather have a chicken patty and some green beans than anything else. But, we got the opportunity on Tuesday to make something super yummy because Wonderful Husband was going to be home for a few hours! Yay!

I wanted to keep it meat free due to our dwindling supply in the freezer, but I wanted it to be delicious and not TASTE meat free.

So I settled on Cauliflower bites.

This is a new thing that was recently introduced to me by a friend. Instead of using chicken nuggets or wings or whatever, you use chunks of cauliflower instead! The result is actually really delicious and filling. Even WH said it was pretty good.

So here is my take on BBQ Cauliflower Bites, designed to taste similar to boneless wings.

1/2 Flour
1/2 Cup (and then some) Milk
Garlic Powder
1 Head of Cauliflower
BBQ sauce

1. Preheat oven to 400. Chop the cauliflower into bite size pieces- I find its easier to pull it apart and let the heads separate naturally.

2. Rinse well.

3. Whisk the flour, milk, salt, pepper, and garlic powder together in a medium size bowl adding splashes of milk until it is a consistency similar to pancake batter. You don’t want it too thick or it clumps on the cauliflower, but you don’t want it too runny or it runs off all over your baking sheet.

4. Toss the cauliflower in the flour/milk mixture until well coated. Spread on a lined baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes.


5. Remove cauliflower from the baking sheet, toss in BBQ sauce, replace on the baking sheet, and bake for another 20 minutes.

I served ours up with french fries, carrot sticks, and celery. Just like in a pub!


I am already thinking of how I can make this next time, and am considering using my maple mustard on a few. Yummmm!


Stepford reviews a book (or 2)

When we moved into our new house this month, we didn’t have any internet or cable, obviously. I called around to the local internet providers, picked the cheapest one, and made an appointment. They couldn’t come install it until 12 days later.

How does one live without internet for 12 days?

Pretty easily actually.

We haven’t had cable in years. We used Netflix or Hulu and we recently got a Kodi box. A Kodi is a streaming service. Very hard to describe, but basically magic. Its a tiny little box, like the size of an ash tray. You plug it into your tv and your wifi, and you can watch Whatever. You. Want. You want Bambi? done. Last nights episode of The Walking Dead? Done. That obscure movie you heard that one person talking about in line at the grocery store? Done. 99% of the time, we have access to movies the day after they hit the theater.

It’s been a lifesaver with the kids.

Anyways, back to the point. When the kids are in bed and the husband is away and you are in a big empty house with nothing else to unpack. What do you do?

You start on that pile of books your mother has been stacking you up with for the past year.

I started with a book called Escape. It’s all about a woman who was born into the Fundamentalist Church of Latter-day Saints, they believe in polygamy. Also known as: multiple wives.

At the age of 18 she was forced into a marriage with a 50 something year old man who already had 3 wives and endured 17 years of marriage and abuse before escaping with her 8 children.

It was so good! I could barely put it down and read the whole thing in 2 days. She is so raw in her writing and truly tells her story without mincing words or sparing feelings. I would definitely recommend it, especially for someone who has knowledge of Latter-day saints, FLDS, or even Mormons. It is a really good insight into the religion. I don’t know much about it so in some parts I struggled to understand how anyone could believe some of their basic structures.

I was so happy with that book I moved right into the next one in my pile. It was called Forever. The basic story is this- a boy is born in the 1700’s in Ireland. Throughout his travels, he is magically granted the gift of immortality as long as he doesn’t leave Manhattan. He makes it all the way to 2001. You can guess where it goes from there.

The book is called Forever, I felt like it TOOK forever to read. Every night I would think I was getting close and then I’d look and see I wasn’t even close to halfway through. By 3/4 of the way I was totally over this book and wanted it to end, but was too invested in my already read 400 pages to give up.

It ended badly and very anticlimactically. Not sure where the writer wanted it to go, but it definitely didn’t get there and I was left feeling like I definitely could have spent my time better elsewhere. It had some good parts, and pieces of it really drew you in thinking something important was going to happen only for it to jump 50 years down the road and you be left feeling like you are missing something.

My next book is called A Man Called Ove. I haven’t started it, but Mom says its about a man who wants to kill himself and his friendly neighbors keep accidentally ruining his plan. We shall see if its any good.

We have internet now, and access to whatever we want to watch. But now that we all have detoxed from it, it doesn’t seem so important. Little Darling will watch a movie in the morning, or in the evening with snack. But for the most part we keep busy doing other things, especially since the weather is so nice now. It’s refreshing to not be chained to the living room all day, and not be staring at a screen 24/7. Although, I will say, after 3+ months, that I still sleep better with a tv on.

What are some good books you have read recently? I would love to add them to my pile!

Maple Mustard


This recipe tastes as exactly as amazing as you would think it does.

As I am sitting here, scooping it down by the pretzel-full, I got to thinking that I should probably share this with the world. No need to be greedy (more like I want you to make your own because I ain’t sharin’).

It definitely could use some tweaks and improvements, so I am totally open to tips and tricks.

A few weeks ago, MIL and I took the girls on the Maple Taste and Tour. You drive around to all the local Sugar Camps (places where people tap maple trees and make maple syrup), to learn the different processes everyone uses and taste their specialties. It is really fun, and education. Not to mention, free food. Some camps had maple sugar cookies, maple fudge, kielbasa, beer, popcorn, etc. Only one camp had maple mustard.

It was AMAZING. We bought a jar and had it almost gone within just a few days. Now sugar season is over, and I am in a different state with no hope of buying more. But, I NEED IT. So I had to try and make my own. They made theirs with vinegar, egg yolks, dry mustard, and maple syrup (it was on the label) . I didn’t have access to dry mustard and FIL is constantly preaching about the dangers of raw eggs in food so I decided to play with it and this is what I came up with.

It does not disappoint.

Maple Mustard

2tbsp Spicy Brown Mustard
2tbsp Yellow Mustard
4tbsp Maple syrup
1/4 cup Sour Cream

Whisk together.

Devour like a starving African orphan.

It’s still pretty runny, so I need to find a way to thicken it up without detracting from the flavor which is on point. You can obviously add or subtract any amounts you want. Sometimes the spicy mustard gets a little overpowering and I have to add in a little extra syrup, most of the time I just dump the ingredients in without measuring and taste test until I get it how I like it.

Not only do I dip my pretzels in it, but I also recently used it as a marinade for chicken breasts and they were delicious! I added some garlic and salt/pepper to that recipe. It is so versatile and yummy! Not to mention super easy and keeps in the fridge for quite a while (not that I would know because I eat it all immediately)

I am already thinking that this will probably be in my Christmas baskets this year if I can figure out how to preserve it so it doesn’t need refrigerated.

So, go whip yourself up a batch, grab your closest dippable object, and enjoy!

Well, that didn’t go as planned..

Today has been EXHAUSTING.

Like for real.

Lets take a walk through my day…

We got up, we had breakfast, we got dressed in clothing that doesn’t contain the words “pjs”, “sweat”, or “yoga” (ok, confession, I was wearing leggings. But they were LulaRoe and a fun springy blue flower pattern, so they are basically real pants OK!?). We put a movie on TV and played on the floor. It was a soggy, grey morning, but who cares, we were having fun. It was gonna be a good day.

My phone had been dead when I woke up, which was weird, because it had like 25% when I went to bed, so it should have been fine. Maybe I had a billion notifications on Facebook (or a certain blog that had been recently updated) and it had killed my phone. I plugged it in and went about my day.

Yea. My phone was dead because Wonderful Husband had been trying to get a hold of me for about three hours regarding the DMV, transferring our registrations to WV, and Uhaul receipts we needed to turn in to his employer to get reimbursement.


Soooo, by the time my phone turned on and one of his 6,000 phone calls came through, you can imagine what I heard on the other end of that line.

What ensued, can only be described as complete an utter chaos, or also commonly referred to as a normal day in a house with two under 3.

As I was trying to simultaneously call the bank with our car loan, make a bottle for Little Littles, and explain to Little Darling that I was, in fact, NOT on the phone with daddy, some random old guy shows up at my front door.

Thankfully, old dude was looking for a different house. Easy peasy. Nope, wrong house, k bye.

The bank is drolling on and on about how if the DMV has faxed the paperwork and they haven’t received it there is nothing they can do. Perhaps I could personally fax a request on DMV letterhead, and then wait 2 hours and call back with the date, time, number of pages, and fax number from which the fax had come from and perhaps they could track it down. Then they could fax the title to me, and I could hand deliver it to the DMV.

I can smell poop.

I look over and Little Littles, while still wailing for a bottle, is on all fours and poop is leaking out the top of her diaper, centimeters from her shirt, and mere inches from my brand. New. Rug.

So now I get to argue with The Bank about how I am not doing any of the nonsense they are suggesting, they and the DMV need to handle it or my car will just stay registered in PA forever, while I wrestle a screaming baby to floor and try to change a poopy diaper with one hand. All while Little Darling is still circling me saying “I TALK DADDY??”

I finally completely lost my shit, told The Bank to go to Hell, and hung up. Click. I got the bottle warmed up and ready for Little Littles, we are only about 15 minutes behind schedule for LL’s first nap,  and Little Darling announces she has to go potty.

This is my life.

So we run to the potty and spend 3 minutes fiddling around until I, again, lose my cool and shout GET OFF THE POTTY!

Now Little Darling is laying on the floor pouting, Little Littles has her bottle and is happily eating, and Wonderful Husband is blowing up my phone for the Uhaul receipts that I have, yet again, forgotten to send. I can’t imagine how it slipped my mind.

Little Littles drinks her bottle and goes to sleep. I send the Uhaul receipts. I get a load of laundry going, Little Darling gets a snack, and we head to the basement to clean.

Little Darling is playing in the guest room, getting in and out of the bed and fluffing the covers. I am cleaning the litter box, organizing some items in the pantry, and realizing it was much, much too quiet.

I head over to the guest room and Little Darling is sitting dead silent and still in the bed.

She looks at me and says “potty”

I became a raging lunatic. I ripped her out of the bed and saw the huge wet spot where she had indeed peed on our guest bed.

I spanked her. And then for good measure, I spanked her again. I couldn’t even form a sentence I was so angry. I was screaming words like BED and BATHROOM and JESUS CHRIST over and over again.

I grabbed her hand and half dragged her up the stairs to her bathroom. I forced her into the shower, which was too cold and she started crying. I rinsed her off, gave her a towel, slammed her into bed and told her not to move until I came back.

I could hear the wails echoing as I was stripping the bed, starting a new load of laundry, and cursing whoever thought up potty training. I cleaned up pee prints up the steps and down the hallway. I scrubbed the mattress with vinegar and set up a fan to help it dry.

Wonderful Husband calls to tell me I have sent the wrong part of the receipt (with much more colorful language) and requests I take new pictures and send the correct part.

I have had about as much of this day as I can possibly handle.

I finally went to face my child, who was still half sobbing in her bed. I explained that she is definitely old enough to know better than to pee anywhere but the potty and it was totally unacceptable to pee on the bed. However, I know I was a bit harsh in my reaction and I should have handled it better. We hugged it out and I told her that while I was sorry, she still couldn’t watch tv for the rest of the day, and if she pees on another piece of furniture I will beat her until she can’t see straight. She agreed and asked if we could color at the new table. Yea, really scarred for life. Not.

We spent some time coloring and building with blocks. Little Littles woke up and we had a nice lunch. We re-entered the basement and the girls played happily together while I dragged all the gym equipment into the house from the garage and set up the home gym in one of our spare rooms.

Then it was nap time. Glorious afternoon nap time. When both girls nap at the same time and I get two hours of child-free, mommy time. Today, I collapsed in bed and decided I would take a nap and not even feel guilty.

Little Littles had other plans, of course, and only slept for about 40 minutes.

Since she was up, I decided I would start on some dinner plans. Which is how I came up with this delicious Chicken Spinach One Pot Meal. Easy, full of veggies and protein, and just enough pasta to be a comfort food on a crappy day.

Chicken Spinach One Pot Pasta

3 chicken breasts, cut into pieces
Olive Oil
1 Tomato
1 small Zucchini
4 Garlic Cloves
2 Cups pasta- I used Penne
3.5 Cups water
Basil seasoning-  I used Pampered Chef Sweet Basil
3 Cups chopped Spinach
3oz Cream Cheese
1/2 Cup Milk
Parmesan Cheese

1.In a big pot, heat up some olive oil and add the chicken. Cook until the chicken is about done, no visible pink on the outside

2. Add tomatoes, and garlic. Cook until tomatoes start to get tender.

3. Add water, salt, pepper, and seasonings. Bring to a boil.

4. Add the pasta and cook until pasta is tender, most of your water should be about gone.

5. Add milk, cream cheese and zucchini. Stir and bring to a simmer.

6. Add the spinach and stir well. Keep it simmering and add some Parmesan cheese to taste.

There you go. Easy to make, easy to clean up, and super delicious. Little Darling cleaned her plate, and had seconds. Little Littles ate almost a whole portion by herself.

So. Today was a shitty day. I fought with my husband. I flipped out on my kid. But tomorrow is another day, and I intend to make it great!



The Bitch Is Back

Hello Hello Hello!!

Man, Oh day have I been missing my blog. It has been one year, one month, and 4 days since I last posted. What the what!!? How does that even happen!?

Lets see, last time we talked, Wonderful Husband and I were struggling to make ends meet, I was keeping a HUGE secret from EVERYONE, and I had just started my Pure Romance business.

So what exactly has happened in the past year? Lets talk turkey.

Not actual turkey though, I’ve never made a turkey. And, I kind of hope to keep it that way because those things are huge and intimidating and you only make them on special occasions where you can’t mess up- which ultimately means it would mess up and I’d be stuck explaining why the bird was burnt, or raw, or something. But seriously though, I can’t wait to tell you all about my past year!

My big secret?


After six months of trying, wondering if we even wanted another baby, and basically only having sex in order to procreate, we did it! I found out the day Wonderful Husband left for his two weeks of annual training for the Army. Literally about 4 hours after he left the house I took a test. So then I was tasked with keeping this huge secret for two weeks until he got home. And then we both were tasked with keeping the secret until my first ultrasound at 12 weeks, where we saw a beautiful little babe in my expanding belly.

It was exciting to create a new life and know that in 9 short months we would have a new child, Little Darling would have a new sibling, and our lives would be forever changed a second time. However, it was also terrifying, because we still weren’t real sure Wonderful Husband was even going to have a job come April, let alone come September when Little Littles was going to be making his/her debut.

Time passed and several more exciting things happened!

We found out that Little Littles was a Little GIRL. Little Darling would have a sister, I would have another daughter, and Wonderful Husband was already dreaming of baby number three in hopes of a boy. I spent almost my entire pregnancy sick as a dog. I lost weight, I couldn’t sleep, I regularly barfed.

April came and went, and Wonderful Husband didn’t lose his job. In fact, it seemed like the big bosses really liked him and invited him to start making the trip to Bridgeport WV to see the headquarters down there and meet some of the other employees. Work still wasn’t very consistent, but at least it was existent, so we couldn’t complain.

I did Pure Romance all summer, with many successful parties, and was able to keep food on our table, gas in my car, and even got a few extras. I ended up giving it up when Little Littles was born. At that point there was just too much going on for me to juggle a toddler, a newborn, a business, and the newest exciting opportunity in our lives.

What was the exciting opportunity, you may ask.

Well, after a few months of making the daily 2 hour trip to and from Bridgeport to work, Wonderful Husband’s employer made him the offer to move down there! They agreed to put us up in a “man camp” (a fancy name for a trailer) right in the parking lot of the shop until we were able to sell our house in PA and find a new house in WV. Within hours of getting the offer we had made our decision, and within two weeks we had packed and moved. We put the majority of our items in MIL and FILs garage, a handful of boxes with clothes and important items came with us, a large portion of our life stayed with our old house.

It took us three months to sell our house. We had to drop the price a few times, but in the end we got enough to pay the mortgage. Then it was time to find a house in WV.

About this time, Little Littles was born! 7lbs of chub. She had beautiful blue eyes, pale skin, and never, ever freaking slept. She cried constantly. About everything. For everything. I was exhausted. The last thing I wanted to do after giving birth, and then never sleeping again, was start house hunting. But it was either that, or live in a tiny trailer where our living room, dining room, and kitchen were all smooshed into a 12×12 room for the rest of my life. And so, the hunt began.

We looked, we searched, we traveled. The fact of the matter was our $200k budget with hopes of land, privacy, and turn key availability was laughable in this area. Most houses were $300k or more, and that didn’t include any land, or it didn’t include a livable house. Everything came with compromises. We were confused, annoyed, and getting worried.

At last, after several months, we found what seemed to be our dream house. It was huge, close to Wonderful Husbands work, had no neighbors except an empty business, and came with a tidy 2 acres of land. There was a small run off pond in the back, two porches, two patios, and the basement had already been made into an in law suite with its own kitchen, bedrooms, and baths. It even had a fireplace.

For me, it was love at first sight. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was slightly out of budget, but nothing we couldn’t handle. I loved everything about it, I had everyone’s rooms planned out and was secretly designing where furniture would go in the 25×21 great room. We would definitely need a large farmhouse dining room table.

We made the offer.

We got scared and backed out.

The house was taken off the market.

I was devastated.

Here I was, living in a 400 sq ft trailer with a 2 month old who never slept, a toddler who was a ball of energy all day, a husband who was preoccupied with work, and it seemed like things were going downhill. The holidays came and went, there were no more houses to go see. We were out of possibilities.

At the end of January, we decided to have our realtor reach out to the owner of The Dream House. She did. It wasn’t available. It was rented until November.


Within a couple days though, our realtor got a call back from the owner. His renters were willing to leave and we could have the house by the end of February.

Oh Happy Days.

We wrote up the offer and submitted it.

He denied it. Apparently, the renters were now refusing to leave. They wanted to stay until June so their kids could finish the school year. We wrote up the offer and resigned ourselves to six more months in our tiny man camp.

Then the worst happened.

We got notice from Wonderful Husbands employer on February 7 that we had to be out of the man camp by the end of the month. They needed it. Since Trump had won the election, business was picking up. They had men in the field who needed places to stay. We were no longer welcome there.

After a short fling with the idea of renting an apartment or even buying a different house. We made the decision that me and the kids would move in with FIL and MIL. Wonderful Husband would move in with my dad who only lives about 40 min from WH’s work. We would spend the next six months in separate states living with each others parents.

I felt broken. After 8 months of trying to think positive, trying to tell myself it could only get better, things had continually gotten worse.

On my last day in Bridgeport, I was trying to put my stuff in the storage unit, to no avail because I am too small to open or close the unit door. I am not sure that you can get more pitiful than laying in the gravel parking lot of a storage company, in the rain, pleading with God to let you get the God Damn door shut.

I sat in my car and cried. I texted Wonderful Husband and told him he had to come after work and lock the unit because I can’t do it. I hope nobody steals our stuff in the next few hours.

I stuffed the kids, the dog, and the cat into the Honda and made the long two hour trip to MIL and FILs house where they welcomed me with open arms, as usual, and helped me get settled into what would be my home for the next five months.

We had been there for about two weeks, when Wonderful Husband called and made an announcement. The renters were done for! The house would be available March 31, and we would be closing April 3. Everything was in order and we would be back together much sooner than we had thought.

The next six weeks were a blur. I spent the day trying to stay busy, cleaning and cooking. On rare occasions the sun would come out and I could take the girls for a walk or play in the back yard. Typical winter in South West PA. Wonderful Husband was busily getting the mortgage finished, I was trying to make lists of everything we would need and spent an exorbitant amount of time online shopping for rugs and furniture.

We had a few hiccups- the renters left the place a mess, a window needed replaced, the seller was out of town. But finally, on April 4, we signed the papers and moved in.

I sit here, on my new rug, in my new house, thinking of everything I can be thankful for. Things got pretty low, and I felt pretty low. But sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better, and I can say with certainty that I have learned a valuable lesson (or two) in the past year.

Little Littles still doesn’t sleep, but ever since we started solid food and quit nursing she is at least happy and smiling during the day. Little Darling has adjusted to every situation flawlessly. She is almost potty trained, sleeps great, talks in full sentences, and even has chores she does around the house every day. Wonderful Husband is back in full swing at work, we may not see him as often as we would like, but we definitely see him more often than we ever used to. His day always starts and ends at the shop, which is 2.4 miles down the road. Some days he even swings by for lunch.

I am well on my way to feeling myself again. I was sick for 9 months, and homeless for 8. I moved three times in 6 weeks all while 7 months pregnant. I have two beautiful kids, an amazing husband, and a life most people wish for.

So, I hope you are ready to be back on this wild ride of Stepford living…

Because, the bitch is back.

Slacker Stepford

Oh man have I been letting this blog slide. I haven’t posted since January. JANUARY. Literal months have passed since I posted here.

But, there is a good reason or it…

I am really bad keeping secrets. Like horrible.

I don’t know what ever possessed me to major in Psychology, God knows I would have made a terrible therapist. Running off telling everybody everybody elses secrets. Would have been a disaster.

So, when I came in contact with a certain secret back in January and it was imperative that I keep said secret, I had to kind of quarantine myself from the general public.

But, the secret is getting announced on Thursday. So I feel pretty safe posting a couple things between now and then. It’s only a couple days. And I can type and delete any secrets I want to share before I post. Teehee.

So let’s get off the topic of secrets before I explode with anticipation, and lets talk about Pure Romance and the new job opportunity I have picked up!

It is no secret to anyone in our lives that we have been struggling the past few months. Almost over night we went from oilfield royalty to oilfield poverty. The industry is suffering and because of that the workers are struggling. Wonderful Husband has been home most nights, because there isn’t any work out on location for him. His company has been laying guys off and closing down shops and its all getting really scary for us. So starting in January, Wonderful Husband and I decided that I would start looking for a source of income.

I looked, I surfed, I scoured. I was on and Craigslist almost daily. There was no shortage of get rich quick schemes, but there didn’t seem to be anything legitimate that I could do and still stay home. We knew we didn’t want to put Little Darling in daycare, because it is so expensive any money I made would go directly into paying for it. So it really limited my options of what I could do. Then my mom went to a Pure Romance party.

I have gone to and even hosted Pure Romance parties in the past, but never really considered it as a job opportunity because at the time I was employed full time and didn’t really want to take on anything extra. However, when my mom went to this party and heard about the opportunity to make a good amount of money just by having a few parties every month, and knowing how comfortable I am with the nature of the products, she got the consultants name and gave it to me so I could look into it.

Now, if you are not familiar with Pure Romance, let me fill you in.

Pure Romance sells bath and body products, massage products, and relationship enhancement products. In laymans terms- they sell shaving cream, lotions, oils, and sex toys.

Yep. You heard me right.

Sex toys.

Like dildos and vibrators.

And its awesome, and its empowering, and its super educational.

I consider myself pretty knowledgeable on the female body and I have learned some incredible new information just in the couple months I have been with the company (fun tip- if a woman has 26 orgasms or more a month it lowers her risk of heart disease). When you go to a party, the consultant sets up all her products that she is going to demo and you spend some time passing them around, smelling them, tasting them, turning them on. Really getting to see how they all work and function, and then you get time to shop, privately, one on one, with the consultant in a separate room from everyone else so you can order in confidence.

In my demo, I have the bath and body products like the shaving cream, body oil, and body spray. I have massage products like our super cool self heated massage heart, and the massage lotions. I have our arousal creams, lubricants, foreplay creams, and activity specific creams. And I have six of our best selling toys.

So far I have done two parties, and actually made some money. I still am in the process of paying off my kit, so it isn’t actual profit, but it won’t be long before my kit is paid off and everything I make is going straight into my pocket.

I really enjoy doing the parties, and feeling as though I am really teaching women some important information about their bodies. Some women feel so awkward about their bodies and about sex and anything involving those areas, but a party is a perfect way for them to experience some fun extras for their bedroom!

There is no need for anybody to feel uncomfortable or weirded out. I know when I walk into a sex store I feel like everyone is staring at me and I want to get out as fast as possible. And ordering online is such a hassle because you can’t really see the item you are ordering and sometimes end up with something you don’t really want. With Pure Romance we take the guessing part out of it and you get to shop in comfort and know the exact product you are taking

some backlash from a few friends and family members who are less than supportive. Stating things like they will never buy anything from me because they don’t believe in what the company is supporting- well then I guess they better stop shopping at WalMart because they not only sell condoms and vibrators, but they also sell the morning after pill, ouji boards, satantic books, and unedited CDs. For the most part, I try not to let the negativity get to me. I am doing what I can do support my family and keep food on our table. I am not forcing anyone to buy anything, I am merely offering a service. They don’t have to like it, they don’t have to buy anything from it, but they also don’t have to be so ridiculously rude about it. Besides, all the of the demos are easy to modify and stick to “softer” products. I can do a church luncheon where all I do is talk about our great smelling perfume and super fabulous miracle oil. I just wouldn’t hand out catalogs for the little old bitties to turn to the back pages and drop dead when they see Mr. Dependable (the purple 8 inch suction cup dildo, a best seller).

I think this is going to be a great opportunity for me. It allows me to get out of the house a few times a month. Lets Wonderful Husband bond with Little Darling while I am gone. I get to share my knowledge and my products with women and help them spice up their love lives. And I make money while doing it!

I hope if you are reading this you will consider hosting a party with me. Hostesses get 10% of their sales in free product. So if a party nets $1000 in sales, the hostess would get $100 in free product. The only rules for the party are: No men and No children (that means under the age of 18) in the house during the party. Other than that it is totally free to book and host. A lot of women will do girls nights, wine tastings, bachelorette parties, brunches, and even the odd pizza party. It is a really fun time all around.

So there you have it. That is part of what I have been up to for the past couple months. The other part of what I have been doing is coming soon. I promise! Tune in Thursday!


Important Post

Haha, I bet I gotcha with that title.

There isn’t a single thing in this post that is important.

In fact, the only reason I am posting at all is because I was in the shower this evening and it struck me that I haven’t even turned my lap top on in the past several days and I couldn’t remember the last time I posted.

Turns out, I was posting about being happy and telling people about it. And then I went right on with my life, being happy, and telling no one about it.

Hypocrite. Right here.

So here is my life in the past few weeks in between writing my last post and when it got posted:

  • Wonderful Husband and FIL busted ass on our remodel and now the new master bedroom is well on its way to being painted! Now I just have to pick a paint.. latte, double latte, latte express, mocha latte, coffee latte, latte chip, mocha chip, coffee chip, chocolate chip…God help me. They all look identical and I am SURE that no one will ever step foot into my bedroom and say “ah, she definitely should have gone with the mocha chip” but I continue to pour over these small details as though my life depends on it.
  • Little Darling is still refusing to drink any milk out of a sippy cup, but on a happy note, she guzzles V8 Green Goodness juice without complaint and even asks for seconds, so bring on the cheese cubes and greek yogurt and let the child drink her veggies instead.
  • I have successfully kept off 4 of the 8lbs I lost during my new years cleanse and have been continuing with eating pretty healthy besides a cheat meal here and there when I have a moment of weakness.
  • My dads girlfriends mother, unfortunately, passed away not long after the new year and they had a rough time with funeral planning and carrying out her last wishes, it did, however, afford me an opportunity to take Little Darling to visit them and help make them feel better when they were feeling down.
  • Little Darling spent a weekend with the In Laws and Wonderful Husband and I got two nights out! Hells yes.
  • I ran an ethernet cable for our xbox upstairs. Our Wifi is really spotty on the second floor so we decided to hard wire the xbox to watch movies on Hulu. Wonderful Husband told me to drop the cable down the vent into the living room and run it along the wall to the router. I tried it about 7000 times with no success. I mean, I was armpit deep in the living room vent and unable to find this 200 ft cable I had so carefully jammed down the bedroom hole. Wonderful Husband told me to tie some weight to the cable and try again. For future reference: when a husband tells you to “use some weight” he, does not, in fact, mean to tie an ink pen to the cable and drop it down the vent. This is not considered heavy, and when you try several more times, unsuccessfully, and then rant to Wonderful Husband that it isn’t working. He will doubt your intelligence when you admit that your “weight” was an ink pen. Learn from my mistakes, use a screwdriver to start with.
  • I finally got to go visit my Best Friends new house! She moved months ago and the holidays and weather and sick children kept us in a constant scheduling conflict, but I was finally able to make it down to see her adorable little trailer out in the country with her fluffy chickens and brand new puppy! We had a great visit and the kids truly enjoyed getting to play together.

Life has truly been good and enjoyable. I have no complaints. I don’t really have any new recipes to report, we are eating a lot of the prepped foods I froze over the summer that I can easily throw in the crock pot or oven. I don’t really have any new life tips or tricks to give other than don’t spend any extra money, and think every purchase over carefully before making it. I haven’t been to the grocery store since December, and while I am going to have to go this week to get fresh fruits and veggies, that is about the only thing we need. I am doing very well with my resolutions of eating healthier, being more frugal, and spending more time with my family. How has your 2016 been?